


The Doctor Learns All About LJ - Vocabulary - Part 1

by Kelkat9



Series: Lordstorm and His LiveJournal Adventures [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 18:52:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelkat9/pseuds/Kelkat9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor has more questions regarding LJ and fanfic - in particular, abbreviations and acronyms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Doctor Learns All About LJ - Vocabulary - Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> The plot bunny will not leave me until I am sure TenII finishes exploring the wonderful world of fan fiction and LJ. This is a follow up to The Doctor Discovers LJ

 

  
Doctor, what are you lookin’ at?” Rose asked as she walked into the library where she found the Doctor sitting at his massive, antique, mahogany desk which was stacked with books, old computer parts and bits and pieces of things Rose could only wonder at.

The Doctor was staring at the laptop, periodically sonicing it. He looked up at Rose with an intent look on his face. “You humans love your acronyms and abbreviations.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, walking around the desk and leaning over his shoulder to look at what he was reading. Before her on the screen was the infamous “Lordstorm” Live Journal friends page. Lordstorm had become somewhat of a “go to” for anyone seeking smutty science fiction romance adventure stories. He was even recommended on various LJ sites for his “hotness” which, of course, he often reminded Rose. She scrolled down his page but couldn’t find what seemed to have caught his interest. Finally, he took over with his sonic and pulled up a description of a particular story.

“This right here,” he told her, tapping the screen. “I mean, look at this. What could these possibly mean?” He was looking at the descriptions of some stories, which listed PWP, BDSM and Dub-Con.

Rose smiled and bit her lip. “Well, PWP means porn without plot, BDSM means Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism, um, it’s a control thing and dub-con means dubious consent during sex,” she told him, blushing a bit.

He turned, looked up and stared into her eyes inquisitively. “And you know this how?” he asked.

“Umm, I’m sure I read it somewhere,” she answered him evasively, scrolling down the screen and trying to not look at him.

He smirked. “Rose Tyler, have you been reading pornographic literature with no plot and teeming with kinky things?”

“Doctor!” she retorted, blushing even more.

“You have! You’ve been reading some smut story that has no plot and the only purpose of which is to describe kinky, lascivious acts in every sordid detail. I can’t believe you did that, and without me! Least you could have done was..”

“Doctor! I never said that I well, read it,” she exclaimed, trying to defend herself. He stared at her disbelievingly. “Oh, all right! I might have glanced at one or two, just out of curiosity, mind you. I mean, I..”

“My Rose is a smut addict,” he stated with a huge grin. “I had no idea you were so open to, uh, things.” He pulled her down into his lap and soniced the laptop. “Show me these sordid, smutty stories,” he whispered seductively into her ear. She looked down at him, biting her lip again, and pulled up her favorites link and clicked one in particular.

He snickered a bit. “You have one favorited! Oh, you are my naughty little smut addict, aren’t you!” he teased with a sexy grin.

“Doctor, I’m not a smut addict. I just happen to appreciate the creativity and brilliant language and besides, it’s not smut. It’s erotic literature. Now, you gonna read it or just tease me about what you think it is,” Rose told him, crossing her arms in front of her while sitting primly on his lap. The Doctor put on his glasses and read the story. He smiled and chuckled a bit before he turned to Rose with smoldering eyes.

“You’ve been holding out on me. You wicked girl. As a matter of fact, I think perhaps Lordstorm should punish you for hoarding all these stories and not sharing the naughty goodness with me. Rose gasped a bit as he pulled out a long blue, silken scarf from his desk drawer and ran the smooth, cool silk against her skin. It wasn’t long before Rose wondered if it was some mysterious Time Lord talent that enabled him with the ability to strip both of them naked in a matter of minutes. Soon, her wrists were bound over her head to a wall sconce by a blue silken scarf and a hot and bothered Time Lord was pressing her against the wall demanding she promise not to wander off while she was on the receiving end of every delicious, salacious detail described in her favorite erotic story.

The next day, Rose was in the kitchen staring at the mysterious directions on a recipe for banana bread when the Doctor bounded into the room, laptop in hand.

“Rose! I have a few more LJ questions for you.”

Rose tossed aside the recipe and smiled. Yesterday’s lesson had left Rose tingling in all the right places. He’d been so concerned afterward that the rough role play had bruised her that he’d pulled out the sonic to make sure she was good as new. Well, good as new except for a particularly large love bite on her neck that he was now gazing at with Time Lord pride.

“So, what’s your question?” she asked, with a bit of anticipation as she walked over to where he opened the laptop. Although she would never admit it, she was enjoying his new fascination with writing smut fic and her lingerie wardrobe had expanded tremendously as a result.

“Fluff, squee and why do they call these two characters a ship? How can two humanoid characters be a ship? Well, unless they're androids, in which case they could be a ship for a microscopic species known as the Imputans but not on Earth. Imputans prefer a different climate. Oh, and as for fluff, isn‘t that some kind of American food? I mean, it seems I once met a bloke that liked this thing called a fluffernutter which was made from something called fluff. Oddly enough, it resembles the secretions of the Tokki snail which is kind of disgusting. I wouldn’t choose to eat it, but humans tend have odd cuisines. Oh, and Squee, if cooked properly, is quite tasty. It’s a delicacy in the Alterian quadrant, but I still don‘t understand how it pertains to works of fiction?” he told her, scratching his head.

Rose giggled. “Well, first of all, ship is short for relationship. It’s a romantic pairing in stories. Fluff is a light hearted fun romance story and squee, well that’s like an excited squeal. You know, what you do when you really like something.”

“You are kidding me. Not androids or food?”

“No, Doctor.”

“Huh, well, that’s a bit of a let down. I thought we were in for some food related naughty goodness or at the vary least something with a kitchen appliance,” he told her, disappointment tinging his voice.

Rose smiled and leaned against the counter. “Nothin' stopping’ us from enjoying any of that. Sounds like Lordstorm needs some inspiration for his sexy wanderer and his luscious companion. Maybe they need to get locked in the pantry and find new and exciting uses for the condiments,” she suggested, raising an eyebrow. The laptop snapped shut, and she was dragged into the pantry, where she soon taught Lordstorm what squee meant as she slowly and deliberately slathered jam across his chest and down toward his manly bits followed by her clever tongue languidly lapping her way down until she was positive he completely and totally understood the word “squee"

* * *


End file.
